For a long time, I was always busy. I used to referee rugby, I was a scout leader, I went to weekly quizzes, and I was out of the house almost every night. On weekends, it was more of the same. I filled every corner of my calendar with something.
Now that I’m here in Fiji and life’s a bit slower, I’ve had time to stop and think. And it hit me.
I wasn’t just being busy.
I was distracting myself.
Keeping Busy to Avoid What’s Really Going On
Looking back, I can see it so clearly. Staying busy wasn’t just about being productive or social. It was about avoiding the truth. The truth that I wasn’t happy. The truth that things didn’t feel right. Especially at home. Especially in my own head.
Recently I’ve started to dig into this, and I’ve found that distraction is a common habit among people who self-sabotage. Instead of facing uncomfortable feelings or situations, we keep moving. We keep doing. We keep distracting ourselves from reality, from reflection, and from healing.
And this self-sabotaging approach can have serious mental health implications.
I Looked After My Body But Neglected My Mind
What’s strange is that I’ve always looked after myself physically. I exercise almost every day, I eat reasonably well, and I try to sleep properly. But mentally and emotionally? I was a train wreck.
And I did it by keeping myself too busy to stop and face the facts. I didn’t want to admit that something was wrong. That I wasn’t in a good place mentally. And in doing so, I backed myself into a corner. My life wasn’t working, and I didn’t give myself the mental space to figure out why.
Not only that: I was fundamentally miserable.
The Shift: Making Time to Think
Now I do something different. Every day, I give myself a little space to reflect, to breathe, and to ask myself how I’m doing. I sit with a coffee and just think. I speak to myself kindly. I check in on my emotions and ask what’s really going on.
And you know what? It’s working.
Now I feel more positive. I have more mental energy. I feel clearer about what I want and where I’m going. I’m not just blindly rushing around anymore. I’m starting to choose how I spend my time, instead of using activity as a mask.
So, If You’re Always Busy, Ask Yourself This…
If you’re someone who’s constantly doing, always rushing, always juggling things, pause for a moment. Ask yourself:
- Am I sure I’m not distracting myself from something?
- Is this busyness taking me somewhere I want to go?
- Do I even know where I want to go?
If you answered no to any of these, then maybe it’s time to slow down and do what I’ve started doing. Carve out a little space each day to check in with yourself.
It doesn’t have to be dramatic. You don’t need to meditate on a mountaintop. Just stop. Breathe. Think. Listen to yourself.
And most importantly, be honest.
Because distraction won’t solve the problem.
Facing the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable, is where real growth begins.
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever kept yourself busy just to avoid dealing with something deeper? What did you learn when you finally slowed down?
Feel free to share your experience in the comments. Your story might just help someone else who’s going through the same thing.
