Understanding Self-sabotage is something worth digging into, especially if you’re trying to figure out why things aren’t going the way you want.
I’m not some big expert here, just someone who’s been piecing it together through my own ups and downs.
In this article (and video), I’ll break down what self-sabotage looks like, how it’s shown up in my life, and what you might take away from it.
What’s Self-Sabotage All About?
So, self-sabotage is when you, whether you mean to or not, do stuff that stops you from getting what you want. It’s like putting up your own roadblocks to your goals or just feeling good about life.
Think of it this way: imagine you’re learning to drive a car. You want to cruise down the road, but instead, you’re staring at the trees and, bam, crashing right into them. You’re aiming for one thing, but your focus is on something that messes you up.
It pops up in all kinds of ways, little hiccups or huge detours, and it’s probably happening in your life more than you think.
And this is where understanding self-sabotage can be a real benefit.
How I Ended Up in Fiji
Here’s where my story kicks in. Right now, I’m in Fiji. It’s gorgeous, warm, pretty, even on a cloudy day.
But honestly? I don’t want to be here. I landed in this spot because of some choices I made, and they’ve snowballed into me being stuck here.
I’ll spill more details later, but the big wake-up call came when I realized I’ve been wrecking my own life. A lot of it was stuff I didn’t even notice I was doing, decisions that didn’t line up with being happy down the road. And even when I sort of knew, I kept at it.
Sound familiar? I bet you’ve had moments like that too.
Owning the Mess I Made
Facing that truth was the hardest part. I’m here in Fiji, miles from the people I care about, all because of me.
It’s not just pointing fingers at myself, though I did plenty of that, beating myself up and feeling like I’d totally blown it. I kept thinking, “I’ve screwed up so bad, I am a screw-up.”
Maybe you’ve felt that way too, like your mistakes mean there’s something wrong with you.
But here’s what I figured out (with a little help): screwing up doesn’t make me, or you, a lost cause. It’s just stuff we do, not who we are. That hit me hard, and it’s something I want you to hold onto.
You’re Not Your Mistakes
Let me say that again for you: your mess-ups don’t define you.
Self-sabotage is about habits or ways of thinking you’ve picked up, it’s not the core of who you are. Sure, we do things that aren’t great, but that doesn’t mean you’re no good. I’ve had some rough nights lately, feeling down about the mess I’ve made and how it’s hurt people I love. That part stings the most.
But I’m learning, just because I’ve messed up doesn’t mean I’m a mess. Same goes for you.
Moving On From Here
I’m still working through this. Some days, I’m mad at myself, stuck on what I’ve done and who I’ve let down. But I’m trying to shift how I see it, and I think you should too.
Made a mistake? Doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
Life get messy? Doesn’t mean you’re broken. It’s a simple switch, but it’s a big deal.
So, here’s my take for you today: self-sabotage is real, and it’s tough, but it’s not the end of the story. I’m still figuring out my path, and if you’re in the same boat, let’s keep at it together.
What do you think? Have you seen this in your own life? Drop your thoughts or questions below, I’d love to hear from you and chat more.
For now, that’s where I’m at, and I hope this gives you something to chew on.
RECOMMENDED READING:
The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
by Brianna Wiest
Get Your Copy Here : https://amzn.to/40df3L2
